Amortentia
by TiffanyL
Summary: Familiar scents can bring comfort in times of love and war...and this is a bit of both! RHr Missing Moments from Deathly Hallows. SPOILERS!
1. Emptiness and Evergreen

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, I just borrow them for fun sometimes!

Summary: Scents have a funny way of affecting one's emotional responses…POV/Missing Moments from Deathly Hallows—Spoilers ahead, you've been warned!

**Amortentia**

"Emptiness and Evergreen"

"What are you doing?" Ron asks me as he prepares to walk out of the tent.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you staying, or what?"

The question catches me off-guard. How dare he expect me to choose? My head began to reel; how could everything have fallen apart so quickly? We knew that the mission would be dangerous from the very beginning. Ron and I had discussed it countless times before Harry had arrived at the Burrow for the wedding. We knew that it was not going to be easy, but here he is, threatening to abandon us and walk out on Harry, on our mission, and, worst of all…me. I know he wants me to choose, I know he wants me to go with him as a testament to our newfound closeness. A large part of me wants to leave with him.

I'm seventeen and I'm in the fight for not only my own life but the lives of everyone I know. It's a burden that is difficult to bear but I bear it. Sometimes I would rather abandon it and just run to Australia to find my parents and hide with them until it is all over. But I know that I cannot. I have a duty to my family, my friends, and the two people I care most about. Harry needs me and he needs Ron as well. He cannot lose us both at the same time—he should never have to worry about losing us at all.

I look from Harry's rage-filled green eyes to Ron's angry, pleading blue ones. I don't want to choose, and part of me hates Ron for putting me in this position.

"I…yes. Yes, I'm staying. Ron, we said we'd go with Harry, we said we'd help—"

I see his eyes searching mine and with every word, his face falls further.

"I get it. You choose him."

With that, he turns his back on his best friend, he turns his back on me, and walks out of the tent. I scream after him and try to stop him, try to get him to come back and listen to me, but he does not come back. I try to run after him, but my shield charm is in the way. My hands and voice shaking, I attempt several times to remove it. As soon as I am able, I run out of the tent.

I see his form in the distance, at the edge of the boundaries of our protective spells. My mind is spinning, I know that he can't possibly abandon us like this. I know that he is just angry, that the horcrux has poisoned his mind against us temporarily. In ten minutes, the effects will wear off and he will be Ron again. He will know that Harry needs us, he will know how I feel about him—that I didn't "choose" Harry over him but that I have kept my head and I know that we have a duty to fill for our best friend.

"Ron!" I scream out after him. I am soaking wet, the rain plastering my hair across my face. I shake my head to loosen my hair and scream again.

"Ron! Come back! We need you! You can't leave like this!"

His dark form stops slightly, hesitating. I'm sobbing at this point, my tears combining with the rain drops pouring down my face. My heart is a block of ice at the pit of my stomach and I am straining my voice, screaming at him. I know that as soon as he breaks the barrier of our protective spells he won't be able to hear me anymore. His hesitation buys me a second of more pleading.

"RON! Don't leave us! DON'T LEAVE US! Harry needs you! I NEED YOU! Do you hear me, Ron Weasley? I NEED YOU! Please!"

I see him slump slightly and for a fleeting moment, I feel like I have won him over. My breath catches in my throat and I see him turn. Then, he is gone. He was not turning back to me, he was turning to Apparate.

He's gone. He left us. He left me. My sobs begin to rack my body and I have to grab a nearby tree to hold my self up. The rain is pounding against me, soaking me to the bone and only solidifying the despair that is filling my heart. He's gone and I don't know if I'll ever see him again. And, what's worse, I don't know if he even cares. I take a few moments to compose myself, steeling myself for breaking the news to Harry. I don't want to worry him, so I put on my bravest face and ensure that the only wetness on my face comes from the rain.

I make my way back into the tent. Harry looks up expectantly, and his eyes immediately flicker, mirroring my despair.

"He's g-g-gone! Disapparated!"

I see Harry's face fall and disbelief wash over him. Suddenly, I cannot compose myself anymore. I don't care if Harry sees me cry. My heart has broken into a thousand pieces and I can't hide it, nor do I want to. I crawl into the nearest chair and bring my knees to my chest. I lose all sense of composure and I start to sob again.

I blindly feel blankets being thrown over me. I unconsciously grab them and wrap them tightly around myself, breathing heavily. Suddenly, with a sharp inhale, I realize that Harry has thrown Ron's blankets over me. His scent washes over me, and I choke on yet another sob.

The memory rushes upon me cruelly, taunting me. That day in Potions class last year, the first day when Professor Slughorn presented us with a cauldron full of Amortentia.

_"…it's supposed to smell differently to each of us, according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and—"_

I had stopped myself then, but now it is unnecessary. Amortentia smelled like Ron, the very scent that engulfs me now. It's a slow torture, the scent of his soap and his clothing all around me. Normally this scent brings me comfort, it brings me a warm sense of closeness. Now it makes my heart twist in pure anguish, but I cannot bring myself to shake the blankets off. It is a painful reminder, but it is a reminder nonetheless.

With each breath, a new memory crashes to the surface of my head. The first time Ron stood up for me against Malfoy. The time I finally got the nerve to tell him he should have asked me to the Yule Ball first. Sending the flock of canaries at him when I saw him with Lavender. The first time he held me at Dumbledore's funeral. The night I came to the Burrow over the summer, right after I had modified my parent's memories. He was so kind and gentle and knew exactly what to say. For the first time, I felt like there was hope for us yet.

For the thousandth time in the past few months, I am reminded of how our relationship has changed. He and I have finally come to an understanding, our feelings for each other do not need to be expressed explicitly. I know he cares for me as more than a friend. The comforting touches and kind words speak volumes to me.

I can't believe he's gone. When we wake up in the morning, we'll leave and he will have no way of finding us again.

I can't cry anymore tonight. No doubt the tears will come again, but for now I am exhausted. I always thought the phrase "crying oneself to sleep" was something only written in books, but I am learning that it is possible. I close my eyes to sleep so that perhaps I can wake up in the morning and realize this has all been a nightmare.

The last thing I am conscious of before I fall asleep is the evergreen scent of Ron's soap invading my sense. I have to keep hope that one day it won't be his scent on blankets that will lull me to sleep—I have to keep hope that there is a future to look forward to, a future where I will finally fall asleep next to him.


	2. Strength and Cinnamon

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, I just borrow them for fun sometimes!

"Strength and Cinnamon"

It has been the most excruciating day of my life. I have never before felt so much hatred and fear and anguish in one day. We land in the grass with a painful thump, Hermione has still not regained consciousness and has landed on top of my right arm. Side-along apparition is not my strongest point, but one could never question my current determination to find the proper location. I gently raise her to a sitting position before stooping over so I can sweep her up into my arms. She seems to tiny and frail; I can tell that she has lost weight over the past few months. I silently curse myself for the millionth time since the night I ran out on her and Harry.

My eyes adjust to the scenery around me, and I heave a sigh of relief when I recognize Bill and Fleur's cottage not far away. Hermione comes to as I carry her toward the little house, groaning in pain.

"Shh," I whisper to her softly. "You're all right. You're safe. Just relax, I've got you."

I see her face twist in pain and it sends a feeling like a sharp knife straight to my heart. I gently readjust her in my arms and reach the cottage. I use my foot to bang on the door.

"Bill!" I call out, restraining myself from yelling. "Bill! It's me, it's Ron! Ronald Bilius Weasley, I'm terrified of spiders and, no matter what people say, one day the Chudley Cannons are going to win it all!"

Bill opened the door at my confession, convinced it was truly me.

"Ron! Blimey, what's happened? What's wrong with Hermione?!"

I waste no more time on the stoop and bring Hermione into the living room, gently laying her down on the couch. She stirs again and opens her eyes, looking around in fear and confusion. I drop to one knee so I am at her eye level and brush her hair out of her face.

"It's all right, we're at Bill and Fleur's. Just rest, don't try to move. I'll be right back."

She nodded slightly and closed her eyes again. I quickly relay the day's events to my brother and sister-in-law, both in their dressing gowns and looking thoroughly frightened at my appearance. I tell them that we have just escaped the Malfoy Manor and that Harry should be along right behind us. Luna then pounds on the door, she and Dean supporting an emaciated Ollivander into the cottage.

I quickly rush over and help them lead Mr. Ollivander to the nearest chair. Suddenly, a faint cry is heard in the distance. We stop speaking and look towards the window. I am fairly sure it was Harry screaming Dobby's name into the darkness. Bill and Fleur quickly step outside, Luna and Dean close behind them.

"…Ron?" I turn quickly at the sound of Hermione's voice. I rush across the room to her side, frightened by how weak she sounds. "Ron? Is every…thing…all right? Where…where's Harry?" The effort to speak is too great for her and she takes a deep breath, sighing through her obvious pain. I notice that the cut across her throat is beginning to bleed again, and I pull my sleeve down to my wrist, grabbing hold of it with my fingers so that I can gently dab the blood away.

"He's all right, he's outside. Bill and Fleur and everyone went to go get him."

She nods slightly and winces again. I make the executive decision that the couch was not soft enough for her to lay on.

"Hermione? I'm going to move you to one of the beds, all right? You'll be much more comfortable. Here, lift your arms and hold onto me."

She does as I ask and I gingerly secure her arms round my neck before lifting her back up into my arms. Her head falls against my chest and she whimpers slightly as I walk up the small staircase. We finally reach a small bedroom and I lay her down as softly as I can, pulling a blanket up around her.

"Do you need anything?" I ask her. The last time I saw her so weak was just after the fight at the Department of Mysteries over two years ago. The day's events come rushing back to me and I shake my head, willing myself not to think about what could have happened to her had Harry and I not escaped.

"No, thank you, I…I think I'm all right."

I nod and start to back out the door.

"I'm going to see what's taking everyone so long, I'll be right back, I promise." I turn to walk out of the small room when I hear her call after me.

"Ron?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For…for everything."

"Don't mention it. I figure I have a lot to make up for. Could take a long time. Years, even." I smile at her and I turn to walk out again.

"I heard you…" Her voice gains a bit of strength and I turn to her, my questions etched on my face. I see her struggling to come to a sitting position on the bed. I rush back in the room, telling her to stay down, to rest.

"No. No, Ron, I need to tell you this. Now please be quiet and let me speak." She looks at me indignantly and I have to force down the laugh at the sudden return of the Hermione I know. I nod and sit down on the edge of the bed. She seems surprised at my obedience and suddenly becomes flustered. I see her resolve falter in her eyes momentarily, but then she quickly regains her composure and brings her eyes to meet mine.

"When they were torturing me, I—Ron, look at me," she interrupts herself, for at the mention of her torture I break eye contact, unable to look at the bruises on her face. "Ron, I heard you. I want to tell you that. I heard you, every time you screamed my name."

She reaches forward and grabs my hand, holding it between both of hers. I look into her eyes once more, seeing them fill with unshed tears. I placed my free hand on top of hers so that all four of our hands are entwined.

"She…she had me and it was all I could do to think of another story to feed them so they wouldn't know what we are doing. I wanted so much to be brave, but I couldn't help it. It was horrible and I could not stop myself from screaming. I wanted….I…I heard you screaming for me and I…well, I knew what my pain was doing to you and I tried so hard to be brave for you. Hearing you gave me strength. It was…it was almost like a Patronus, the way your voice went straight to my heart. It reminded me of all that I have to live for."

The tears slowly started to fall down her face and I lifted a hand to wipe them away with my hand. I lean forward and bring my forehead to hers, grateful that she is safe. She smiles faintly and closes her eyes and I do the same. I drink in her scent, the wonderful smell that I always associate with Hermione. Cinnamon and…something else that I've never quite been able to place. But for years now, every time Christmas is near and my mother uses a fair amount of cinnamon, the smell wafts up to my room and I automatically feel a swooping in my stomach, thinking that Hermione is near. Its tie to my memory, to my heart, is so strong that any small amount causes me to look around in anticipation.

"Thank you for telling me that," I whisper, choked with emotion. "I…I only wish I could have come to you sooner. Then maybe you…you wouldn't have been…the unforgivable—"

"Shh," she replies, now turning the tables and comforting me. "I'm all right, Ron, I really am. What are some more bumps and bruises?" She laughs weakly and I shake my head, still unwilling to accept what could have happened.

"You," I begin, drawing up my courage. "You were incredible up there. I mean it. If I never knew it before, I know it now: you're a tough one."

She gives me a watery smile and squeezes my hands.

"Well, it's about time you figured that out, Ronald Weasley."

I slide closer to the head of the bed and wrap Hermione in a hug, burying my face in her bushy hair. I am careful not to squeeze to tightly, but she wraps her arms around me and pulls me closer to her, using all the strength she has left. Her tears fall steadily now; and I feel my own begin to sting behind my eyes. When my mind wanders to how I had almost lost her mere hours ago, I cannot suppress a shudder and I take another deep breath of her, relishing the feel of her so close to me.

We've come a long way, Hermione and I. To think, this time a year ago, we were recovering from our biggest fight to date and I was trying my hardest to end my huge mistake with Lavender. In the midst of this war, we've come together in ways I have dreamed of for years now. I want nothing more than to hold her at arm's length and tell her how much I love her, how much I've always loved her, and kiss her until neither of us have any breath left. However, as with everything to date, now is not the right time. I don't know when the time will come, but I know that it is not far off.

I hold her until I feel her relax against me, and I realize that her tiny frame has finally surrendered to exhaustion. I have never been prouder of her than I was today. She was being tortured and she did not give up any information. She did not cry. She did not falter. She was amazing. I gently lay her down in her bed and slide away from her so I can pull the blankets up around her shoulders. I kneel by the edge of the bed, unable to leave her side. I watch her sleep, watch her chest slowly rise and fall with her steady breaths. I cannot resist putting a hand through her hair, running my fingers through it repeatedly, careful not to disturb her.

Suddenly, a feeling that has been lurking within me for ages comes to the surface. I have known for years that I have loved Hermione. I've known that our relationship goes far beyond friendship; that she makes me the happiest as well as the most frustrated I can possibly be. Lately, however, a new feeling has begun to take shape and I could never truly put my finger on it until right this moment.

I am sitting here, in the darkness, watching Hermione sleep, running my fingers through my hair, and I realize I could do this for the rest of my life. I could spend every night watching her sleep, being with her at all times, comforting her and being here for her. I could do this forever. It is a feeling of familiarity, of complete closeness.

I almost lost her today, and right now, I know that I will never be able to live without her.


	3. Bravery and Broomstick Wood

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters; I just borrow them for fun sometimes!

"Bravery and Broomstick Wood"

"Ron, I…I can't believe you were able to do that!" I stare at him, my mouth agape, as the bathroom sink opens up to reveal the Chamber of Secrets. He looks at me and shrugs with a half-smile.

"Always the tone of surprise, eh?" I laugh incredulously and notice that, despite his words, he is surprised himself. "I dunno, I just practiced what Harry told the locket to do and…and apparently it works."

I can feel my face heat up and my stomach swoop as my affection for him swells. He has more than proven himself over the last year and I have fallen even more in love with him than I thought possible. I smile grandly at him and then look around for the broom we brought with us. I stoop down to pick it up and hand it to him, and he takes it with a deep breath.

"Ready, then?" I look at him expectantly.

"Yeah…yeah, let's go." He nods emphatically, steeling himself. "Never imagined I'd go back down here…"

I squeeze his arm in an attempt to reassure him, and he looks at me with a grateful smile. He swings one leg over the old broom and guides me behind him. I take an unsure seat and automatically wrap both arms around his waist. He grunts when I grasp too tightly.

"Oh, sorry!" I squeak.

"S'ok. You'll need to hold on tight, we're going to have to take a bit of a dive."

I gulp as we begin to levitate and wrench my eyes shut as we begin our descent to the Chamber. I instinctively place my head against Ron's back as we fly down to the deepest cavity of Hogwarts.

"Look over there, see that rubble? That's where the wall collapsed the last time we were down here."

I look to where Ron is pointing and shudder to think what could have happened to them all had Fawkes not rescued them. Ron expertly maneuvers us around the rocks and we are flying steadily once again. I can feel Ron's heart beating madly within his chest as I rest my head against him. I give him a reassuring squeeze around his middle and I feel his muscles relax slightly.

I can hear blasts occurring above us and I shudder involuntarily. Thankfully, Ron slows us to a halt and we land softly. For the first time, I open my eyes and take in the sight of the decrepit Chamber of Secrets. I knew what we were coming down here for, but the sight of it still makes me gasp. There, ten yards away from where Ron and I stand, is the decaying and putrid corpse of the Basilisk. It's eyes have been gouged shut and its long body is trailing from a long cave where it undoubtedly came from. Ron immediately grasps my hand in his and gives it a squeeze.

"S'all right, Hermione, it can't hurt us. Well, apart from the nauseating stench, o' course…"

Suddenly I am overwhelmed with memories from second year. The horrid feeling when I saw its eye in the mirror and the flashing feeling of being petrified. Coming to in the hospital wing, unaware that I had been out of commission for weeks. The elation of running into the Great Hall for the end-of-year feast…We were such children then, barely contemplating where our futures would lead.

I realize that I have let my mind wander and I come back to the present, looking into Ron's questioning eyes.

"Right, then. Let's…uh…let's figure out how to get these fangs out, shall we?" I look at Ron, hoping he'll take the lead. Thankfully, he does. He walks to the huge snake and examines the fangs protruding from its mouth, clamped shut in death. He shivers and looks at me.

"D'you know any spells that could wrench these out?"

I think as hard as I can and shake my head. The only spells that come to mind would shatter the teeth, and we need them in tact to destroy the horcrux. Suddenly I see Ron's eyes light up. He points his wand at one of the teeth and shouts "_Odonto Extractum_!" It shakes in its cavity for a moment then falls to the ground with a loud "POP!"

"Brilliant, Ron!" I cry, scooping up the tooth gingerly.

"Mum used it when we were kids, when we had stubborn loose teeth. I just now remembered it," he said sheepishly, shrugging again. I laugh and smile kindly at him.

"Well, good then, keep going! We'll need a bunch of them!" He returns my smile and continues extracting the fangs. "While you do that, I'm going to go ahead and destroy the cup, shall I?"

Suddenly, Ron turns to me and drops the fangs he's been collecting. His mouth drops open and he rushes to my side.

"What?" I ask. "I'm perfectly capable of destro—" But he cuts me off before I can finish.

"I know that, Hermione. I just want to be with you while you do this. When I destroyed the locket…well, it—it wasn't easy. I think you should be the one to destroy it, Merlin knows we all deserve a shot at killing a bit of You-Know-Who, but I just want to be with you should you, uh…get…distracted by it."

My eyes surely show him how confused I am by his speech, and his face immediately turns beet-red.

"Ron," I begin. "What—what happened when you destroyed the locket?"

"Nothing, it was nothing. It just…well, it makes you feel things, it…it shows you what you're most afraid of, it makes you miserable; it—it taunted me, really. Took me a minute before I remembered what I was supposed to be doing, that's all." I see something dark flash across his eyes, something like fear and sadness.

"What did it taunt you with, exactly?" I ask him.

"I—it's nothing, I'll tell you one day, I promise." He forces a half-smile and nods to me, encouraging me to do what I have to do. He hands me a fang and I take the cup out of a parcel I've carried with me.

I place the cup down on the ground and get to my knees, holding the fang above it. I see Ron squat down to my level and I feel him place a reassuring hand on my back with his wand at the ready. I give him a small smile and take a deep breath, plunging the fang into the cup.

We are both blown backwards by the force of the horcrux as it breaks open. I see a swirling blue mist and the sound of screaming rings in my ears. The blue mist begins to surround me and I hear hissing voices all around me.

"…_Never good enough…you'll never be good enough…your parents don't understand you…you'll never fit in with wizards….filthy blood…you're not really one of them….never smart enough….nothing you do will ever be enough…"_

I feel every ounce of hope begin to drain from my body, as if I am surrounded by a hundred dementors. I can hear Ron calling to me as if from miles away while the voices continue to torment me.

"_He left you for another…not pretty enough, not charming enough…she was everything you could never be. He wants gorgeous, not plain. He will never want you…never want you…"_

"HERMIONE!" Ron's voice cuts through the others. "Don't listen to them! Do you hear me? DON'T LISTEN! Stab it again, stab it again!"

"_He doesn't love you, he never will. It won't be long before another girl comes and takes him from you…all the looks and touches from him mean nothing, he's just toying with you…he doesn't love you, and why should he? You're a mudblood. You have nothing to give…"_

I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks as the voices don't let up. They are making me feel useless and miserable, but there is nothing I can do to stop them. They're right, everything the voices tell me is the truth…

"_You don't know enough to save your friend…he will fall to the Dark Lord…and it will be your fault, all your fault—you don't know enough, you haven't learned enough…the Dark Lord will kill Harry Potter and you won't be able to help him…he will die, and it will be your fault. The man you love will never forgive you…he'll never love you."_

"HERMIONE! STAB THE CUP!"

Suddenly, the sound of Ron's voice reaches me, shoots straight to my heart once more and I remember what I have to do. I bring my hands down and stab the fang into the cup once more. The voices immediately stop and the blue mist disappears. The horcrux is destroyed. I let out a ragged breath and pull my knees to my chest, unable to meet Ron's eyes. He's heard everything, I'm sure of it. I've never been more humiliated in my life.

Ron's hand tentatively touches my shoulder.

"Hermione…? Are you all right?"

I quickly wipe my eyes with my sleeve and sniffle back the rest of my tears.

"…Yes. I-I-I'm fine, Ron. It's done with, it's gone."

"You did well, Hermione. Loads better than me. It took me a lot longer to make the voices go away." I look up at this, forcing myself to look into his concerned eyes.

"What…what did they say to you?" It was his turn to look away, and he took several moments before he looked back at me.

"They…well, the mist became these off-looking images of you and Harry…telling me…telling me basically everything I was afraid of. That my mother loves Harry more than me, that I'll never amount to anything and that I'm the least loved out of all my brothers…" he trails off, looking away from me once more.

"Oh, Ron," I say, momentarily forgetting my own painful experience. "You know that's not true. Your mother loves you very much, your whole family is so proud of you. I'm proud of you, too."

"That…that's not all, Hermione," he begins, looking unsure as to whether he actually wants to continue.

"It's ok, Ron. You don't have to go on…"

"No," he states. "No, I do. I have to—you deserve to hear it. Especially after…after what I just heard." My face flushes as I nod for him to continue. "The version of you said…it…it said that you loved Harry. That you wanted him. That no girl in her right mind would choose me over Harry." His voice broke, and I could see his eyes fill with tears—something I have rarely seen. "Then….then…both images came together and…were…and you were kissing…and then I heard Harry screaming for me, and that's when I was finally able to stab it with the sword again."

He takes a deep breath, swallowing the tears he refused to let fall. Suddenly, words are no longer necessary. The horcruxes chose to torture us with the thought of being apart, the thought of not caring for each other. They knew that the worst thing we could both think of…was the possibility that we aren't meant for each other. The questions that have plagued me about our relationship have been answered. The horcruxes tried to tear us apart, but they failed. They've finally brought us together.

I smile weakly at Ron and he slowly stands up, extended his hand to help me follow suit. When I stand up, I don't let go of his hand. I squeeze it and then bring my arms around his neck and he wordlessly hugs me, lifting me off my feet and squeezing me around my waist. I feel safe, I feel protected. I bury my face in his neck and once again smell the evergreen scent of his soap, the scent that makes me feel like I have finally come home every time.

I pull my head back from his neck and look into his eyes. My breath catches in my throat and I feel his heartbeat speed up against my own. My eyes drift down to his lips, thinking that the time has finally come. Suddenly, a loud crash from far above knocks me out of my reverie. I had completely forgotten there was a war going on around us.

"Ron! We have to get these fangs up there to Harry! There's a battle going on! There are more horcruxes!"

Ron stumbles over to the discarded fangs and begins to gather them in his arms. I pick up the broom and hold it near me while he finishes picking them up. Suddenly I notice the scent of the broom; the dusty old broom that we found in the Room of Requirement. It smells of old wood, a comforting smell that reminds me of Ron, though it never has before. I smile, knowing that whenever I smell it from now on, I'll remember this moment in the Chamber of Secrets. I'll remember it as the moment that Ron and I fully realized our feelings for each other—our love for each other.

We get on the broom and begin to soar out of the Chamber, back to the battle raging around us. We reach the bathroom and climb off the broom, tearing for the hallway. As Ron and I burst around a corner and see Harry running in our direction.

"Where the_ hell_ have you been?"


End file.
